Hope is a funny thing. It’s just a desire or a want. And when you decide to just give in to it, you throw your hands in the air and just wait for whatever is going to happen to actually happen. A person’s hopes and dreams are ever changing. morphing as you age and experience more of life. It almost makes you wonder how anyone is supposed to keep up.
When I look into my future… I’m hopeful over so many things: Success for my side business, Happiness and health for my children, Continued success in my day job. I’m hopeful that I will continue to learn and grow. That someday, I’ll master the art of healthy communication, and find myself surrounded in healthy relationships. I’ve learned so much – thanks to counseling and reflection, but I’d be kidding myself if I thought that was enough. Now it all comes down to continued practice and learning. And sure, I could stress about it, worry over it, try and find a way to gain some sense of control over it all – or I could just throw my hands into the air and give in. Give my all. and just be patient. It’s not something I do well. Patience isn’t a virtue I possess typically – but maybe that’s the point of this lesson.
I’ve got some christmas music playing, and I’m snuggled under a blanket on my couch as I write this post. The kids aren’t home for the day yet and I’m enjoying some quiet time. I should be down in the lab… I still have quite a bit on my to-do list to tackle before my event at the Pottery Barn on Sunday, but I think I needed to take a moment and just let my thoughts flow first.
I love the labspace for my business. It’s taken over the downstairs of my home. Stainless steel tables, melters, shelves full of bottles and barrels of all sizes, jars of colors lining a wall. It always smells different in there. Yesterday it smelled like apple cinnamon… today it’s a white sage – very clean smell. Of course, the smells change based on what I’m making or packaging or curing at the moment. It’s become my playroom for art projects and fun experiments. I have a new experiment brewing in my head that I can’t wait to attempt. It’s funny to think that this time last year, the lab didn’t exist downstairs. I was just messing around in my kitchen. How far we’ve come in such a short amount of time. It’s funny – I get so impatient with my progress – the business is not (yet) where I thought it would be. BUT… then I think back to the days I started and ran JW. It took me 3 years to build that company up enough to be stable and consistent. And in my first 2 years, I made a couple decent flubs of mistakes…. learning curves! So I’m trying to cut myself some slack this time around. But it’s hard. Damn that aries impatience. 🙂
But we’ll get there… once again – this is something I just have to give in to hope on. Keep busting my butt …. it’ll come about in it’s own time. And when it does – this dream will be a reality. The dream of having my own shop. To leave the tech world for a while, work the shop, write a book… maybe consult here and there on those special projects the tech world needs me for. I’ll get there. Just keep swimming…