A thoughtful evening

jazz

I went to sit outside on my back porch to be delighted by the slow languid sounds of old school jazz drifting at me.  It was lovely.  A neighbor has their stereo up loudly and is saturating the neighborhood in it.  I sat and soaked it up for a bit.  It’s been a good night.  The mini-me wanted to bake a cake tonight.  She picked out the recipe and we got to baking.  It’s a plate full of diabetes.  🙂  But it was fun all the same. 

I helped the bro with some design work.  He’s trying to break into the freelance design industry and had his first flyer gig tonight.  It was hilarious to hear him ranting about how clients don’t know what they want and don’t understand what it takes to design.  Brought me back to my first jump in.  Art is something you take personal as you create it.  It’s hard to disconnect yourself when you receive feedback.  Especially when the feedback isn’t what you were hoping to hear.  He’ll get there.  🙂 

Faith.  Spirituality.  Religion.  It’s been a topic in my home the last few days.  It’s typically a topic I avoid getting into with others, as it’s easy to trip over someone’s feelings and accidentally insult or hurt someone.  I’ve learned over the years to tread lightly.  The bro is Christian and his new girlfriend is a fairly devout Christian.  I myself am not, although I do believe that everyone has a right to believe and practice what they want, so long as it doesn’t infringe on my right to believe and practice what I want. 

I no longer know what I am when it comes to religion.  I have studied so many.  Some in great depth and others just enough to lightly understand.  Christianity was where I started, it was what my grandparents and parents practiced.  I then branched into Judaism (my best friend was Jewish and would take me along to her temple) and then Catholicism (my step dad’s side of the family).  I had Buddhist friends at school growing up.  I’ve always had an extremely curious nature, and so it shouldn’t surprise me that I of course had to study that, visit their temple with their family and read some books.  I studied native American cultures and religions, various Pagan and Celtic religions, I’ve briefly glimpsed at Islam, Shinto, and a few of the lesser known and certainly less popular religions.  What fascinates me are the patterns that you see across them all.  I feel I’ve taken pieces and chunks of learnings from all of them.  And yet, none of them seem to quite have it right.  I suppose that sounds wrong – None of them hit all the notes quite right for me. 

haha

I find beauty in all of them in various forms however.  What does that make me though?  I don’t follow any single religion.  Heck, to be honest, I don’t even “talk to god” anymore.  I used to, when I was young.  But looking back, it was usually when I needed help or when I wanted something to go a certain way.  I’d look up, and I’d talk to god.  I haven’t done that in many many years.  It’s not that I don’t necessarily believe in a higher power, I do.  I believe something had to have kicked it all off – the big bang and such.  I just don’t believe that what I’m thinking in the moment of the day is something that would be of importance for that higher power.  I believe it’s what we learn while we’re here that gets fed back in some way.   

faith

What is faith?  I asked my friends on facebook today to help me define it.  I don’t have faith in a religion.  I don’t necessarily have faith in a god or a book.  Even my faith in myself will vary.  What I DO have faith in… is Life.  Whether I’m here or not, life will continue on.  The world will continue to turn.  Perhaps that is what it is.  The religion that is Life as a Human on this planet.  😛  It needs a catchy title.  I believe in positivity.  That if what you put out there in life is positive, it is what you’ll attract.  If you put out negativity and hate, it too is what you’ll attract. 

Well … it’s getting late.  I should get some sleep.  I’m sure my little monsters will be waking me up early in the morning.  Have a few errands to get done in the morning.  Goodnight neverland.  XXO!!

sleepingtiger

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