I feel like sharing today. 🙂 It’s been a lovely couple of days and I want to capture some of the little moments. This seems like a good place. Last night I had a moment sitting on the couch, my christmas tree lit, with my one of my best girlfriends. We’d had a girl’s night out followed by some pretty awesome girl talk. It’s funny. I don’t have a lot of women friends. I really don’t. So the few times I get to hang out with the girls or just one of the girls, I cherish. I shared a lot last night. Asked a lot of questions. It’s becoming clear to me, how innocent I really am. I’m wise in so many ways, and yet, I have experienced so very little in the grand scheme of things. I sat and listened to her share stories of her past, thoughts on life and love and society. We laughed and shared until we were both yawning and blurry eyed.
This morning, my ex dropped off the kids at 7. The house was still asleep. I brought a fuzzy blanket into the living room and we all curled up on the couch near the tree and watched an old favorite movie. There’s laughter and light in the house now. My children run around giving hugs and enjoying themselves. It’s amazing. I love it. I love them. There is no more fighting or yelling or chaos. No more tears. That almost seems foreign now. A year ago today, a look into this house would have been different. I was building the courage to find a way out of a 10 year marriage. A marriage that had fallen apart long ago. Being married to an alcoholic was tough. I thought I could conquer it. What I learned was that it wasn’t my job to conquer it. It was and is his. I look at how much life has changed for the good in this house. It’s now a home. More than it ever was when we were a family. I’m happy now. I look forward to coming home and being with them. I look forward to what lies ahead. Whatever it may be.
I’ve lost weight. Quite a bit of it actually. Total from last year, is 65 lbs. And I’m so pleased. I’m doing what I promised to Ben when he died. I promised him that I’d get healthy and happy. I won’t let him down. I won’t let ME down. I’m off now, going to have a tickle-session, make some cookies, and maybe read some doctor suess. Happy Saturday everyone!